Darkness Visible

[anarchist_nomad]

This year, my focus on Samhain has been largely one of wrapping up the Wheel of the Year that is ending and preparing for new beginnings. As mentioned previously, it has been a challenging year. I lost somebody very precious to me to mental illness; my beloved cheshcat and I were given stewardship of a community during what turned out to be a time of severe crisis. You get the idea, gentle readers: Many serious responsibilities.

Some of these situations turned out better than others. For instance, although it took much effort, I do believe that cheshcat and I were able to captain the ship of our community through the storm. Our efforts prevented what had threatened to be a major fracture, a serious schism. Was everybody happy? No, of course not. As one dear friend[*] commented to me: "Welcome to being a Pagan Elder. You get to do work, and people will yell at you." True that! Still, we did good WORK and our efforts had a positive transformative result.

Successful or no, all of these responsibilities were rather costly in terms of time and energy. With this turn of the Wheel winding down, my own personal work has been on tying up the loose ends so that I can move forward with fresh new beginnings. Already, there are projects and goals for the next turn that I am eagerly waiting to launch myself into.

As such, this Samhain has been centered on the positive aspects of endings. I believe that this is a Good Thing^TM. However, as the Universe seems to insist on reminding me, Samhain is also a time for traumatic endings and Death. At the start of this month, I learned that an old friend had passed away. He had been the wife of my first Secondary, back when cheshcat and I had started being polyamorous back in 1997. As so often happens, we lost contact about ten years ago. No reason for it -- time and distance just caused us to drift apart. Thus, I was rather startled to hear of his passing, especially since he must have only been in his forties! Unfortunately, he is not the only loss. Last week, I received news that one of the longstanding members of my Pagan community had finally passed on, after long battles with illness. Whilst I was not entirely surprised, this awful news weighed heavily on my heart. Just a few days ago, I learned that somebody that I knew long ago -- a friend of The Kiddo when we were growing up -- had died. I remember when he was a mere child and, indeed, he must have been only thirty or so! Again, far too young. Then, tonight, I received word that the partner of somebody who is like a brother to me had tried to commit suicide.

Thus, I say to the Universe: I get it. Samhain is a time for endings... and not all endings are good. Can you please knock it off now? I am still very much focused on my Samhain goal of closing out the year of challenges that is now ending and beginning a new year of projects in its place. Can we agree, Universe, that there has been enough Death and trauma for one Samhain? Can we move on without losing anybody else in the spirit of the season? Thank you!

Condolences to all who could use them. No matter what my personal goals are for this Samhain, methinks that the Ancestor Ritual is going to involve some particularly heavy WORK this weekend...

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[*] Who is only not getting credit by name because I'm not sure I have permission. If said person wants to speak up, you are more than welcome to do so!

Comments

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

This is why we of Friends are keen both on committees and elders- they may be frustrating at times, but they get things done and provide a safety net for those who struggle :o)

'Art thou in darkness? Mind it not, for if thou dost it will fill theee more, but stand still and act not and wait in patience till light arises out of darkness to lead thee'

(James Nayler 1617?-1660)

[anarchist-nomad.livejournal.com]

This is why we of Friends are keen both on committees and elders- they may be frustrating at times, but they get things done and provide a safety net for those who struggle

Well said. This is exactly what cheshcat and I tried to do whilst we were at the helm. And, for that matter, as we remain on the Board of Directors for four years, it is still what we are trying to do.

I think that, overall, we did quite well. Most people were rather happy with the results, in my observations. Not all, but most. And you know what they say about not being able to please all of the people all of the time...