The Reduced Shakespeare Entry[*]

Just finished reading the Spark Notes for Shakespeare's Cymbeline, in preparation for an open-air performance tomorrow evening at Glastonbury Abbey.[**] On my mind, then, are three Shakespeare-related comments:

First, with regards to Cymbeline, can I just ask one question:
What the hell is wrong with these people???
I expect that I will enjoy this play, as it is chok-full of something I dearly love -- that is to say, plot.[***] Still, with the exception of Imogen, the whole cast seems to be quite loopy. Particularly in the final scene.[****] (Maybe there's something in the water?) The king, especially, is quite daft. Who invokes war with the Roman Empire to avoid paying a tribute, wins the war... then decided to pay the tribute anyway?!?


Second, where the heck did the oft-repeated myth about how there are no strong female characters in the Bard's plays come from? Seriously?? And none of this counter argument drivel about how Lady MacBeth is the exception. Lady M ultimately proves a wuss who kills herself with guilt -- not exactly made of stern stuff. But Imogen, Rosalind, Portia... need I continue??


Third, here are gender-specific lessons that everyone should learn from Shakespeare:

1. For the men: If somebody -- including your deranged mind -- tries to convince you that your wife has been unfaithful, relax. She isn't. Whatever you do, do not kill her. Best not to kill her unborn child, too. It is sure to be yours.
   
2. For the women: If you get into a spot of trouble, disguise yourself as a boy. Doesn't matter what the trouble is, just do it. Ultimately, this will boost your IQ until you are smarter than everyone else around, allowing you to fix whatever it was that caused the problem. You may also land yourself a hot date in the process... with either (or both) gender(s).

Must run now, as there is still a fair bit on today's to-do list that needs doing before the night is over.

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[*] Apologies to my gentle readers and friends to whom I owe replies and e-mails. This past week has been a bit of what my darling tawneypup would term "OMFGSOBUSYIWANTTOSTABMYSELF busy", so my online time has been limited. With any luck, I shall rectify this soon!

[**] In my experience, the more familiar one is with a Shakespearean play before one goes to see it, the better one will appreciate it. If I have time, I try to read the actual play in advance -- preferably with footnotes and comments in the text. Failing that, I at least read the Spark Notes to give myself a basic idea of what will be happening.

[***] Indeed, Cymbeline may have more plot than any other of the Bard's plays. Think King Lear and Othello and Romeo & Juliet and As You Like It all rolled into one!

[****] I won't even begin to get started on the bizarre cameo appearance by Jupiter shortly before this scene begins!