Yes, precisely. If their concerns had been brought forth in a respectful manner, we could have collaborated to find a solution. Once you think about it, changing the slogan is actually a trickier issue than you might first expect.
Oxford BiFest was conceived with a mission to do outreach and bring in new people, not solely catering to the existing UK bisexual community. According to feedback we have received, a catchy slogan like "Like Men? Like Women? Like Both?" did that job rather well. Proposed alternatives like "Hearts Not Parts" or "Like Men? Like Women? Like People?" come from a more sophisticated and intellectual deconstruction of gender and sexuality; such a catchphrase might not be so effective in attracting folks who are still figuring out their own gender and sexuality issues.
On the other hand, we also did not want to exclude genderqueer or genderfluid people... and it was certainly not our aim to offend. Had we been approached respectfully with these concerns, everyone invested could have worked together towards an ideal solution. It's a trickier issue than it first seems, to be sure, but it is by no means an intractable problem!
Unfortunately, none of this happened. Instead, there was mocking and derision, escalating into a flame war and personal attacks. That's not the atmosphere of trust required to sit down and solve problems in good faith. At that point, giving in would have been rewarding the harassment... and I think I explained above why I feel that I have a moral obligation not to encourage bullies.
In the end, the result was exactly what you describe in your last paragraph. Those who used intimidation and harassment got their way, and those who tried to give something back to the community in a spirit of love ended up leaving the community entirely. And, just as in your example, the bullies probably did go on to scapegoat someone else. The sole consolation that I have is that I know I did nothing to encourage or legitimize their horrendous behaviour.
*hugs* Thankfully, I belong to some pretty awesome communities -- like my Chicago network, or the P**T*** gathering in the NorthEast, or Lansing (where I consider myself an "honorary" member of the LPV! Hooray!
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Oxford BiFest was conceived with a mission to do outreach and bring in new people, not solely catering to the existing UK bisexual community. According to feedback we have received, a catchy slogan like "Like Men? Like Women? Like Both?" did that job rather well. Proposed alternatives like "Hearts Not Parts" or "Like Men? Like Women? Like People?" come from a more sophisticated and intellectual deconstruction of gender and sexuality; such a catchphrase might not be so effective in attracting folks who are still figuring out their own gender and sexuality issues.
On the other hand, we also did not want to exclude genderqueer or genderfluid people... and it was certainly not our aim to offend. Had we been approached respectfully with these concerns, everyone invested could have worked together towards an ideal solution. It's a trickier issue than it first seems, to be sure, but it is by no means an intractable problem!
Unfortunately, none of this happened. Instead, there was mocking and derision, escalating into a flame war and personal attacks. That's not the atmosphere of trust required to sit down and solve problems in good faith. At that point, giving in would have been rewarding the harassment... and I think I explained above why I feel that I have a moral obligation not to encourage bullies.
In the end, the result was exactly what you describe in your last paragraph. Those who used intimidation and harassment got their way, and those who tried to give something back to the community in a spirit of love ended up leaving the community entirely. And, just as in your example, the bullies probably did go on to scapegoat someone else. The sole consolation that I have is that I know I did nothing to encourage or legitimize their horrendous behaviour.
*hugs* Thankfully, I belong to some pretty awesome communities -- like my Chicago network, or the P**T*** gathering in the NorthEast, or Lansing (where I consider myself an "honorary" member of the LPV! Hooray!